An excellent wife is the crown of her husband

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" - Proverbs 12:4


I’m married.  Wow! I don't know why I'm so blessed.  I'm a sinner.  I don't deserve my next breath of life, I deserve to die - Romans 6:23.  I don't deserve God's Son dying on my behalf - Romans 5:6.  I don't deserve the transaction that happened at the cross when Jesus took my sin and I took His righteousness - II Cor 5:21.

On top of all of this God provides a helper suitable for me Genesis 2:18, a woman who desires to be an "excellent wife" - Proverbs 12:4, who wants to be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman, a Titus 2:3-5 sort of gal, a woman who fears the Lord -Proverbs 31:30.

I was married to my dream girl on March 3^rd 2012. I love Leigh Ann Hernandez (now Gausselin foolz!) and I still feel like I’m on my honeymoon!  My marriage is such an unmistakable blessing to me! So what better time is there for me to make a few observations about marriage?

I’ll just check out a few things that are on my mind about how awesome marriage is. But the Bible is full of this stuff.  So let this post be a diving board into what the Bible says about all things marriage related.

I'll check out four things about how awesome marriage is.  

The first observation is a comparison between Matthew 19:4-6 and Genesis 1 to 2.  I once heard a co-worker of mine say that marriage is just a human institution.  Her point was that God created man and woman, they started a family, then centuries later some civilization made unions between men and women official by binding people together in this thing called marriage.  But in Matthew 19 Jesus quotes the creation account in his argument that divorce is not biblical.  “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE." -Matt 19:4.  Just think about that for a second.  Jesus is asked a question about marriage, and the first place he goes to is the creation account.  This is because in Jesus’s worldview, marriage began with Adam and Eve.  Also… Jesus’ worldview is correct.

Check out Mt. 19:3-6 to see how Jesus uses the creation accounts in both Gen. 1 and 2 in the discussion.

The second thing I want to point out is what God thinks about marriage.  When God created the world he did a pretty good job. "God saw that the light was good" - Gen. 1:4, "and God saw that it was good" -1:10, “good”, “good”, “good”…etc.  Each time God created something new it was "good".  After God creates man and woman on the sixth day the Bible says, "God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good." - 1:31.  So everything was "good" as God created it, but after God had finished creation, everything was "very good".

But shhhh!  There’s actually a secret parallel creation passage.  It is called Genesis 2.  While Genesis 1 is an overview of the creation account, Genesis 2 zooms in on the creation of man and woman.  It is here in Gen 2:18 that for the first time in recorded history there is a problem, "Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone."  So in all of creation the one thing that is "not good" is that Adam is alone.  So what does God do? He creates woman.  The last few verses of Gen 2 are the classic description of the institution of marriage that Jesus quotes in Matthew 19 (see above).

Now take the story of Genesis 2 and plug it into the rest of the creation story.  Notice that everything is "good" until Adam is created alone, which is “not good.” Then Eve is created, the two come together and all of a sudden creation is "very good."

For comparison sake, If you look up at night, you can see 5,000 other stars with the naked eye most of which are bigger than our sun.  There are 400 billion of these stars in our galaxy and we know of at least 100 billion galaxies in the known universe.  God created all of this and said it is "good".

they shall become one flesh..."very good."

The third observation is that marriage is a picture of the gospel.

I used to wonder why in the world would it not be good that Adam is alone?  I mean, he was in perfect union with God with no sin interfering with their relationship.  Imagine, it's just you and God in perfect communion and there's no sin.  Why is this not good?  In fact, isn't this kinda what we are aiming for in heaven?  Was God not enough? Did Adam need to have Eve?  To say that Adam needed Eve makes it sound like fellowship with God one on one is not all sufficient.  Why is this not good?
I may be wrong, but I wonder if part of the answer isn’t found in Ephesians 5:22-33.  An important Reformation principle is that all of scripture points to Christ.  Here are some examples of this in the New Testament: John 5:39-40, John 5:46, Luke 24:25-27.  As Paul talks about marriage in Ephesians 5, he quotes the same passages that Jesus quoted in Mt. 19.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” – Gen 2:24

And immediately after Paul says in verse 32, “This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”  By saying this right after quoting the creation account, Paul is linking this mystery between Christ and the church all the way to the very beginning.  This may not be the only reason, but I wonder if it was not good for Adam to be alone partly because he by himself was not a picture of Christ and the church.

I’m going out on a theological limb here, but correct me if I’m wrong.  Otherwise, it's good to know that marriage was intended to be a picture of Christ and the church.

This leads me to my fourth observation about marriage which comes straight out of Ephesians 5:22-33.

The picture of Christ and the church is played out by the husband and wife.  If this was a Shakespeare-sort-of play then the husband is playing the role of Christ as He sacrificially loves the Church, ultimately dying for her, and the wife is playing the role of the church as she lovingly submits to Jesus Christ.  One sacrificially leads, while the other submits.  And this play is happening for all the world to see.  Just read Ephesians 5.  It’s there!  That’s why gender roles are so important in marriage.  We don’t just proclaim the gospel, we literately live it!  We mess up the picture of the gospel when there’s not a clear delineation of gender roles.  Gender roles are controversial, but that doesn’t seem to stop God from commanding it.

So all you men out there (I’m speaking to myself as well), remember that it is your God given duty to lead your wife.  When Paul talks about this picture of Christ and the church he also says this, “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”  If you can’t lead your wife spiritually and advance her sanctification then something is out of place.  Is it your intention for your wife (or future wife) to be “holy and without blemish?”

So let's review.  1.) Marriage was instituted by God from the very beginning.  2.) God not only gave his approval of marriage but said it was "very good."  3.) The purpose of marriage is to illustrate of the Gospel.  4.) and the picture of the Gospel is played out by the husband and wife. 

I'll never forget Bobby Scott saying at LABTS chapel, "do you believe God when He says marriage is very good? You do? THEN WHY DON'T YOU ACT LIKE IT?"  His point was well taken.  Get married folks, I recommend it.